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" Swagger is merely having the ability to walk into a room and being able to change the atmosphere in it without saying a word!" -JayGraves-

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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Double Parked (How Hibbert dared a boy to tow the ride even though LeBron went off)

"Watch out playboy!I'm driving the whip tonight!"
Somebody ran down the hall saying that it was gonna be a war after school and boyz needed to meet at Bankers Life Fieldhouse! As I was walking into the joint these three ushers started arguing over war! “Henry David Thoreau said, “What is human warfare but just this; an effort to make the laws of God and nature take sides with one party.” Bertrand Russell, the British philosopher and mathmetician, took his jacket off and said, “War does not determine who is right – only who is left.” Then Winston Churhill stopped boyz from coming in all together with, “We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”

Well the Indiana Pacers defended their island until there was no time left, with equally no air under the freakin’ ball as Chris Bosh put up an air ball on a midrange jumper as time expired. Wheredeydodatat bruh? An air ball on the potential game winner from midrange?

So the Pacers were able to come out of the carnage alive 84-83 over the Miami Heat. When boyz said that there was gonna be a fight in Indy they didn’t tell us to bring our hard hats too because it was a battle.

When these cats walked into the building there were no pleasantries or wassup dawgs. Naw playboy, it was real and you could feel it by the tension in the air. I knew it was real when boyz pulled up on the block and Roy Hibbert was driving instead of sittin' in the back seat. That dun is normally hidin’ in the rear left seat eating Funions and frosted penny cookies or lying in the trunk. Not on Wednesday night playboy! He pulled up bumpin’ that DJ Khaled, “All I Do Is Win” joint with his foot hangin’ out of the window.

Roy drew first blood and it was on and poppin’! He put 21 into Miami’s black and red Hummer and disoriented boyz for just a second because they couldn’t believe that the dun that’s been hidin’ in the ride for the past two months had his gun out bussin’! Even Paul George put his clothes on and put his cell phone down to give 'em 23 for moral support. As a matter of fact, somebody just needs to hold on that joint until he realizes that once you hit send those Bernie Mac "Bucket Naked"joints become immortal!

Trip? No trip at all playa! The beast known as the Philistine was driving the Hummer and unloaded 38, 8 and 5  just to let boyz know that this ain’t gone be easy. For 48 minutes these two combat units beat the crap out of each other but boyz kept bringing it.

The Philistine took a hard foul to the nose and had to stuff cotton in his joint to keep from leaving DNA all over the floor. Hibbert took an elbow from “Goliath” that made him so groggy that he didn’t even remember getting hit playboy which was rightfully ruled a fragrant.

That was probably the only call the refs got right all night bruh on either side. Why? Because they were calling ticky tack fouls all night and then would completely miss straight up assaults like when Scola almost removed LeBron’s nose with an extremely hard foul and when Mahimni straight up tackled ole boy and sent him into the basket support. Neither were called as flagrants. I’m just sayin’.

Lance the Don Dada Mr. #BornReady himself was ejected after picking up his second technical foul of the night for celebrating a basket. Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! How do you pick up a tech for celebrating a basket by growling and looking mad? Then every dun in the media room is blasting him and Vogel’s upset with him as well when he’s been doing it all season long playboy!

That’s like getting mad at your 3 year old kid for cursing in front of company when you let the dun curse, smoke cigarettes and drink beer when he’s home alone with you all of the time. It was a terrible call and I bet the league will overturn the tech today. Then everybody’s gonna owe the big homie an apology.

The ref just had the hiccups and couldn’t pass up the opportunity to blow that freakin’ whistle bruh.

On some real talk, they must have had the hiccups or Tourette Syndrome! Because there was no way they intentionally blew those darn whistles on purpose all night.

All three of those duns are in ICU this morning getting oxygen because they blew every ounce of air out of their lungs for 48 minutes. It was the worst officiated game I’ve ever seen. They were calling fouls for farting and just running past a boy. I even saw a dun get whistled for wiping the sweat off of his face and the perspiration got on another boy. In a game of that magnitude you gotta let ‘em play.

Now I’ve been riding the Pacers hard all season about the 800 lb. elephant sittin’ in the room with his pants down, fartin’ and stinkin’ up the joint because of two major problems. Roy Hibbert is always in the ride being the lookout man instead of pulling the robbery with the fellas and secondly, they turn the rock over way too much to slay that Dragon in May.

Well on Wednesday night in front of the whole world Roy not only got out of the ride but he drove the joint in, double parked it and dared a boy to tow it. Now I can't let that dun completely off of the hook playa! It's a felony in 20 states to be 7'2" 290 lbs. and have less than 8 rebounds and 3 blocks a night. He only had 4 rebounds and zero blocks. So the boyz are still comin' through to serve that warrant for being dull but he won't serve any jail time because he did put up 21 points.


 Then as a team the Pacers only turned the joint over 10 times. If they can do that during the playoffs they have a shot at making life very difficult for that Philistine and his boyz and they may even succeed at knocking them off.

Is it playoff time yet? In my Bart Scott voice, “I can’t wait!” because if the battle is gonna be this good, I want a ringside seat playboy! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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The quote under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk! 

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