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Plastic Covers (How George Hill & David West kept Big Momma out of jail this morning)

"If it's on me tonight, then it's on me playboy!"
I stopped by Big Momma’s on my way to Banker Life Fieldhouse and all of the G’s were hangin’ out in the vacant lot across the street arguing about war. Winston Churchill said, “We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.” Bertrand Russell, the British philosopher, poured out a lil’ liquor for all the dead homies and said, “War does not determine who is right – only who is left.” Then H. G. Wells, the English writer, left boyz thinking with, “If we don’t end war, war will end us.”

Well...when the smoke cleared at 125 S. Pennsylvania Street the Indiana Pacers were the only duns standing… barely! After exchanging body blows with the Portland Trailblazers they walked out of the joint with a 118-113 overtime victory.

Portland didn’t even knock on the door bruh! They just came in and started moving furniture around. Damien Lillard was throwing hay makers all night as he put up 38 points with boyz playing great defense on him. Ole LaMarcus Aldridge stood in the front door as boyz tried to fight their way out adding 22 to the wreckage.

But don’t trip playboy the Pacers followed strict Big Momma protocol when they saw boyz coming in the crib. Rule 4, Article 3, Section 2 of the Big Momma House Rules Handbook says, “No company while I’m gone! Don’t let folks just walk through the house! And never let a boy get out of hand on my furniture and rip my plastic covers!”

Just as these duns from Portland were about to rip the plastic George Hill ran out of the back room on fire! The Pacers didn’t even get a handle on things until the 10 minute mark of the third quarter when they knotted it up at 51 but continued to trail the remainder of the night. Ole George jumped out of the bunk bed in his Spider Man pajamas and went to work on these boyz unloading 37 points, 9 rebounds and throwing 8 dimes.

David West had a few cats strung up in the backyard in headlocks when he put up 30 with the midrange. This dun wasn’t playin’ bruh! He made sure that he didn’t waste any energy by going 13 of 16 from the field because he knew that it was like Rocky V up in that piece. Paul George struggled most of the night to get out of the toilet but at least he kept fighting. He was wrestling some cats in the kitchen trying to raid the fridge and was able to get off 17 points. Even Rasual Butler, who was next door, heard the ruckus and ran to the crib and got off 10 on a boy.

Even though they were able to handle these boyz and keep Big Mommas furniture in tack I still have a major problem playboy! Where was Roy Hibbert while everybody was squabbin’? That dun never got out of the freakin’ bed and nobody ever says a word to him about it. When they were in Miami earlier this season on South Beach he never got out of the limo. In Atlanta back in January he never left the hotel. How is it that he's the biggest cat in the house and when boyz start kickin' up dust he always seems to disappear? Wheredeydodatat bruh?

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! You can’t be 7’2” and boyz runnin’ up in yo crib trippin’ and all you end up with is 4 points, 6 rebounds and 2 blocks. Ole Lady Johnson from next door hit boyz more than 4 times with her purse running out of the house bruh!

That’s the kind of foolishness that I’m talking about. I know that cats are gonna have off nights from time to time like PG did on Friday but he kept on swinging. He took 23 shots until some of those joints started falling. Roy didn’t bother to put the Xbox down all night. I know he heard all of his boyz fighting in the hallway bumping into the doors. That dun took 8 shots and Robin Lopez was abusing him all night with that janky hook.

If David and George hadn’t been at the crib they would’ve needed dental records to identify the Pacers, all of the plastic covers would have been shot and Big Momma would be in jail this morning on murder charges. Thank goodness they were home and the plastic is unharmed. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!

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