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Church Hats (The REAL reason Big Momma is so fired up at the Pacers this morning)

"I got these pimpin'!"
As I stopped by Bankers Life Fieldhouse to see the homies before they went on All-Star break. The cats working in the parking lot started arguing about being complacent. Nancy Pearcey, the Christian author, said, “Competition is always a good thing. It forces us to do our best. A monopoly renders people complacent and satisfied with mediocrity.” Dick Wolf, the famous TV producer, threw one of those orange cones at a boy and said, “As soon as you become complacent your show gets canceled.” Then Venus Williams stopped all traffic from coming in and said, “You can never get complacent because a loss is always around the corner.”

Well that loss was peeking through the window on Wednesday afternoon but the Indiana Pacers never looked up from the couch to see it. By 7pm the duns from Dallas that had been in the yard all day started trying to come through the front door. It was tough to get in the joint but they eventually did and got what they needed, an 81-73 win in Indianapolis.

Now on some real talk, the Pacers, who have the best security system in the neighborhood, were chillin’ up in the crib right before the All-Star break and got caught with no bullets or better yet without the freakin’ guns all together.

The surveillance cameras were working, the motion detectors were on full tilt and both of the Pits were tearing boyz up as they were trying to get in. The Pacers held the Mavericks to 81 points and only 35 percent shooting for the night. So the defense worked. Now isn’t it crazy that boyz will move to the suburbs but the ghetto that lives inside of them still makes them go out and get some Pit Bulls anyway. What is that bruh? They need to make an antidote for that. When you move out of the ghetto leave the ghetto dogs in the ghetto because you can afford a real security system now. It even calls the freakin' police for you. The Pit couldn't to do that but it would keep a boy out of the crib in the first place.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The Pacers were on some ole suburban “I’ve got to have a gun in the house but it was in the safe” type joints last night bruh. You know how these duns keep screamin’ that they need a gun but they can’t get to it when they need it because it’s locked in the closet upstairs in the safe. So all a boy has to do is knock on the front door and these fools will answer it and here we go.

That’s what happens when boyz get rich and move to the suburbs. All ghetto instincts disappear, except for Pit buying, within the first year of comfortable living. The Pacers had the best home record in the neighborhood at 25-2 so they were cool. Now granted, they’ve still have the best home record (with 3 losses) but it’s dull to get caught when the defense is working.

They kept the duns from Texas at bay but couldn’t hit an elephant in the butt with a bass fiddle. They shot 32 percent from the field and only 29 percent from behind the arc. They got blasted in the painted section of the crib 32-22. Then only pulled down 10 offensive rebounds and had a season low 4 second chance shots all night.

George Hill finally got the safe open and came down the stairs blasting for 14 as both Lance Stephenson and Danny Granger got off 13 in the back yard but it was too late. The Mavs had already gotten away with Big Momma’s favorite church hats and that’s a problem bruh!

And don’t even get me started on ole dull Roy Hibbert who never even got out of the bed playboy. That dun had 4 points and 7 boards. While the rest of the boyz were at least trying to get the safe open this cat had his feet kicked up watchin’ some ole school Magilla Gorilla and eatin’ Twinkies. And they don’t even sell them joints anymore!

The Mavs were struggling to get down the street with those hats because the boxes were too big to get into the ride. They end up having to strap those joints on top just to pull off.

It’s always tough to get beat at the crib especially when the security system did its job. Even the Pits, Roxie and Diamond, had blood on their paws but it was all for nothing because boyz have been rich for too long and forgot that the gun does you no good if it’s not between the mattresses, in the cushion in the couch or most importantly, strapped to your hip. Now they have to go on break dull because Big Momma is hot about losing those freakin’ hats. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!       

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