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Big Worm (How Larry Bird fell for the banana in the tailpipe by signingBynum)

"Yeah boy, I think Ima bring this joint to Naptown! They ain't ready for this bruh!"
I was standing out in front of Bankers Life Fieldhouse choppin’ it up with the fellas like the fellas do when these cats started beefin’ about being fooled by broads. John Dryden, the 17th century English poet, said, “When I consider life, it is all a cheat. Yet fooled with hope, people favor this deceit.” Francois de La Rochefoucauld, the 17th century French author, said with his square hangin’ out of the corner of his mouth, “The intellect is always fooled by the heart.” Then Marilyn Monroe walked up and shut the joint down with, “The truth is, I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let men sometimes fool themselves.”

Well it looks like ole Larry Bird fooled himself when he ran out and signed Andrew Bynum on Saturday playboy. The Indiana Pacers had a roster spot to play with so they swooped up Bynum to play behind Roy Hibbert. Now get this bruh, they’re going to pay this dun $1 million for the remainder of the season to do it. That’s like for 5 months worth of work or not.

Now in NBA terms that isn’t a whole lot of bread right? Well…not if you ask Paul George who just signed a $90 million joint or Roy Hibbert, who's sitting on a $55 million joint. But if you ask a cat like Lance Stephenson, who makes $870,000, if it’s not a lot of bread I bet he’ll disagree.

Why do I bring that up? Because you just added a dun that you don’t NEED to a roster that already has great chemistry. All you can do by bringing him in and paying him more bread than the most important cat on your team is to create tension. Everybody in the ride is comfortable bruh, even the boyz sittin’ on the hump. You just shoved a boy through the window and now everybody is feelin’ it.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! They’ve got essentially one of the best teams in the league and definitely the best in the East right now. They needed a point guard more than another big. Then they run out and pick up the fine broad that nobody wants bruh!

I know cats are sittin' around saying that the Pacers swooped to keep Miami from swooping but that makes no sense bruh! Pat Riley already has two freakin' projects on his hands right now. Michael Beasley and Benjamin Buttons (Greg Oden). Riley is a whole lot of things but crazy he ain't.

Just pay attention to this foolishness bruh. The Lakers didn’t want her so they shipped her to Philly. Then she shows up wearing the Big Worm jacked up perm because she was trying to find herself while she was going through some things. Then they got tired of her and dropped her off at their boy's house in Cleveland that can’t buy a date. Now you know it’s bad when he drives her to Chicago, drops her off on the west side and pulls off. Then they break up with her in a matter of two days!

Yeah I know that they say they didn't want to take her on the $12 million shopping spree up on the Gold Coast. But they knew she wanted to shop when they started dating her. It was already in the contract when they hollered at her. If she had been worth the $12 million they would have taken her shopping.

Brother Larry, let me holler at you playboy! I know she’s fine bruh. She’s got the DNA of a stallion and a championship legacy sittin' behind her name. I know that it looks good when it walks in the door but it's poison. Boyz tried to tell Kanye that but it wouldn't listen either! When you see a 10 walk in the door that nobody wants, it’s usually a reason for that pimpin’!

They don’t make very many people that are 7 feet tall in the world bruh! So 9 out of 10 if a boy doesn’t want him he’s bananas either physically or mentally! Or both! And from the looks of the perm he was rockin’ in Philly you don't want no parts of that playa.

There is a reason why Halle Barry can’t keep a man and it ain’t because she’s fine. There is a reason why you see the baddest chick from high school or college showing up at church alone every Sunday 20 years later. It ain’t cuz she’s fine my dude! Nobody wants her because she’s a problem!

I’m just sayin’, if you’ve got a million dollars to throw around go buy a magic potion that will keep these duns from turning the freakin’ ball over 23 times against Brooklyn last night. That’s the problem with this team not the bigs! Turnovers are the 800 pound elephant sittin’ in the room farting and nobody wants to spray because they keep winning games. However, at some point the elephant is gonna have diarrhea in the playoffs and it's gonna be too late to clean it up. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!  


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