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" Swagger is merely having the ability to walk into a room and being able to change the atmosphere in it without saying a word!" -JayGraves-

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Sunday, December 29, 2013

Sign Language (How Jason Kidd pulled the South African jack move against the Pacers)

 Are you playin' tonight dawg? "Uh? I thought...well, I'm not sure!"
Before heading down to Bankers Life FieldHouse I was hangin’ out at the barber shop choppin’ it up with the homies. Then some cats started arguing about being overwhelmed. Jackie Kennedy said, “One must not let oneself be overwhelmed by sadness.” Friedrich Nietzche, the German philosopher, said, “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” Then Dave Chappelle knocked over the card table with, “I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.”

Was Chappelle talking about himself or ole dull Jason Kidd? Because that dun is so overwhelmed right now that it isn’t funny or socially responsible. The Indiana Pacers didn’t make his job any easier on Saturday night by beating the brakes, the doors and the hub caps off of his Nets 105-91.

I knew that the Nets didn’t have a chance of competing for 4 quarters when Kidd walked out of the locker room for pre-game interviews at 5:30pm in a full Brooklyn Nets warm up with some fresh sneakers to match! Wheredeydodatat?

Every single coach in the league by that time on game day has their freakin’ shirt and slacks on at the very least. They rarely have on their tie yet but they’re in full coach mode by then. This dun looked like he was preparing to play for the Nets instead of getting ready to coach them. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had on a jock too.

When he walked out to answer the first question he looked like a deer in headlights and was mumbling through the entire interview. I just turned off my recorder because it was pointless. This dun had nothing to say! 

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The Pacers smelled the antifreeze leaking and attacked with everything they had. They surrounded the vehicle at the light as it stalled in Haughville and completely unloaded on it bruh! Paul George hit the driver side door with 24 points while Lance Stephenson took care of the passenger side with 23 points, 9 rebounds and threw 7 dimes through the window for good measure.

George Hill hit boyz off from the rear of the joint with 21 to blow up the gas tank while David West and Roy Hibbert went in on the paint job with 10 and 11 respectively. It got so bad that Kevin Garnett, who will usually get out of the ride talkin’ crazy to a boy was rendered useless and mute with 2 points.

Paul Pierce got off 18 but Lance Stephenson kept taking his sneakers and jewelry on the other end. On some real talk, a couple joints took him to the Rucker and dropped him off bad. I’m just sayin’! Now the joint was pretty much over when Ian Mahinmi ran out in the street for the Pacers and got his front tooth knocked out. In my Big Momma voice, “Will you go sit yo butt down. Now we gotta take you to the dentist on Sunday morning and you know I can’t miss Pastor Johnson. How bout I just drop you off and pick you up after I get out of church!”

The Pacers completely destroyed the front end of the ride as Jason Kidd sat on the curve looking and sounding like Slept Rock, “Wowsy wowsy woo woo! Why does everything have to happen to me?” Because you volunteered for this foolishness playboy. You could have been chillin’ somewhere with your feet kicked up but you wanted to hurry up and be the man!

It’s almost like he was getting up to walk up and down the sideline because somebody told him that it made sense to do it because that dun wasn’t coaching a lick. He was just moving his arms around trying to look like he was doing something like ole boy that was faking the sign language duties at the Mandela memorial service.

It’s like the South African cat was talking to Kidd using an ear piece and the conversation went like this, “Aight dawg get up! Walk around! Put ya hand up! Yell but don’t make sense! Ok chill out! Look at your watch! Scratch your head, now your arm like Ray Charles! Ok stop because you don’t wanna look too obvious! Just stand still for a minute. Look confused but not stupid. Ok now look stupid! Call a timeout! Now don’t do a thing. Let the players call the freakin’ play because you have no freakin’ idea what to do next. Don’t look at the crowd because you’ll get nervous and start making stuff up like I did and boyz will find out you’re faking it. Now walk to the locker room as fast as you can but don’t take a shower because you didn’t do a thing tonight. Now get on the bus ASAP!” Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!

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